Time flies, until now I’ve already lived in France more than one year. This amazing journey has not only showed me how France is, but also has given me chances to know how French girls are. Since I come from China (yes, a mystery ancient country like you guys think;) ), it’s quite frequent that I experienced culture shock here. Sometimes things can go wrong or become much more complicated when two different cultures come together. However, every coin has two sides. I must admit that I still enjoy spending time with my French friends, especially those lovely French girls cause outside of happiness we enjoyed together I have learned something from them. Here are these 10 things I would love to share with you.
1.“Tu as le droit de”
In China, since we were very young, we’ve been told that we should be extremely respectful to our professors and any elder member of a family, which in my opinion, are 100% right but be emphasized too much. Thus, this education system caused the lack of right consciousness. When I get along with French girls, they often use “Tu as le droit de…” to encourage or comfort me. You have rights to be sad not still forcing smile when you are not happy, you have rights to not be afraid to query anything even it is authority, you have right to relax if you really feel stressful. I can feel my consciousness of rights become stronger and stronger during our friendships.
I found that in France, every French girl has their own style of look. They are confident no matter how they look like. When I was in China, lots of girls shame on their body shape so that they don’t want to wear shorts in summer or do everything possible to cover their belly. They think good shape is the most important of beauty but in fact confidence can also influence how you look like.
3. Pace of life
Compared with the quick pace of life in China, French girls pay more attention to the quality of lives. I remember when I was 18, preparing for the final examen for entering university, I woke up at 6 am every morning and studied without rest until night. Here, even study is intensive and busy, they still steal a little time from the rush to smoke a cigarette, to drink a cup of coffee or talk with friends.
4. Age limits
As girls, we have clearer age limits in China, such as “you should be married before 30 years old”, “after 30 years old, you suppose not to do…” or “it’s not your age to do this young people thing”etc. I do think that we are restrained by these “rules” and we choose default. French girls care less about age limits. On my view, they can do whatever makes them interested no matter when. Age shouldn’t be a spiritual shackles to them. I adore the way they say “I will do this only because I want to.”
5. View of marriage
When we speak of marriage, most Chinese girls believe that becoming a wife and mum are our duties in lives. In a very long time, I have this idea as well. But after getting along with French girls, I realized that there are huge difference concerning view of marriage between us, which includes opinions about divorce, cohabitation and fertility. Some of them don’t think marriage is necessary in woman’s life. I also have friends who never consider about having babies. No one can say whether this is right or wrong, this is just a way that they could focus more on their own lives.
Knowing how to choose is a important lesson in life. It is probably because generally we are the only child in family so that our parents often try their best to protect us and plan for us. We don’t choose too much for ourselves in daily life. But my French girls friends know what they want, what they do and what doesn’t fit them. It’s true that shopping with French girls are easier;)
I appreciate independent girls. As far as I think, independence consist of economic independence and spiritual independence. Some Chinese girls too depend on their boyfriends or families. French girls have more intention to get their own job and enjoy their own lives, not be constraint by anybody else.
8. Express directly
Chinese language has high context, that’s why we rarely say no and we express indirectly. It is difficult for Chinese to refuse so that most of time we would rather choose to bear the unpleasantness or dissatisfactory. It’s interesting that my French girls friends can easily say what they want or what pissed them off directly. Obviously, this is a efficient way to let off emotions. Next time, I hope I can try to express myself more directly as well although I am Chinese.
9. Respect & No judge
Differences exist in every part of lives. I like to be respected by my French friends. When I made a decision, even they cannot understand or cannot accept, they still choose to respect me without judge.
10. Live for yourself
You can easily hear “I can’t fail because I cannot let my parents down” or “I study this because my family want me to do so” in China, the aim of our lives may not to let us happy but to make others satisfied. French girls have more freedom in this aspect because of their attitude of life is to “live for yourself”. “Whether this life is exactly what I want or like?” is always a question they ask themselves.
Voila, what a compliment to my French girls! I hope after all my experiences in France, I will also be able to become a woman who always have hope and enjoy her